Improve your paragraphs by varying the complexity of your sentences

Improve your paragraphs by varying the complexity of your sentences Exercise name: 1 Exercise type Input Copyright info Instruction In this module you will: learn about how to revise your argument through re-outlining, learn how to improve your paragraphs by varying the complexity of your sentences, learn how to eliminate wordiness review where the passive voice is appropriate, reflect on your word choice practise proofreading your text for punctuation. Module 15: Revising academic writing Exercise name: 2a Intro Exercise type Input Copyright info NA Instruction NA Many students think of writing as a process that ends when they take the last sheet of paper out of the printer. This is not entirely true. Good writers make thorough, and, when necessary, radical revisions. There are three steps to be carried when revising your paper: Reoutlining, that is re-examining the structure of your argument Re-examining thestyle of your prose Proofreading, that is checking the check the correctness of your paper Exercise name: 2b Reoutlining Exercise type Input Copyright info NA Instruction Reoutlining You may have begun your project with an outline. Re-outlining, that is, writing an outline on the basis of what you have written, helps you see if you have achieved your goal. Compare your two outlines, and ask yourself the following questions: Have I made the thesis or focus clear? Are the ideas and details arranged in the most effective order? Have I divided the text into appropriate segments? Have I made clear the connections between the segments? Do I use appropriate cohesive markers to relay the connection of thoughts? Do I have sufficient support, sufficient evidence for my assertions? Do I have any irrelevant information? Do I need to rewrite my introduction or conclusion? Exercise name: 2c Removing tangents Exercise type Input Copyright info NA Instruction NA Removing tangents Every sentence in your paper should advance your argument, whether by presenting your thesis, introducing subsidiary points, explaining logical relationships between points, presenting and explaining textual evidence, or drawing conclusions. In other words, if you elaborate on an interesting idea, which does not, however, directly advance your argument, you are going off on a tangent. Tangents may be acceptable in some forms of informal writing, e.g. letters, but they are inacceptable in academic English. Here, arguments have to be linear. Anything else is a filler and should be removed. For example, in a paper on Shakespeares imagery, you would not include biographical information about his family, unless this information is directly and clearly related to your argument about Shakespeares imagery. Exercise name: 3 Removing tangents Exercise type MC V1 Copyright info NA Embedded Pop-up text included. See next page! Instruction Click on â€Å"Read Text† to view the results of a history students re-outlining of a paper on the origins of the World War One. Then, decide which entries below are tangents to the students thesis. [C] Platos political theories [] Bank failures in Germany [] French democracy vs German autocracy [C] Economic repercussions of World War I [] Naval race between Great Britain and German [C] Pre-War European Art Embedded Pop-Up Text to 3 Outline: History dissertation proposal The Origins of World War I I Introduction Thesis: World War I was started by a number of factors which had their origin in the natural rivalries between the European countries II Economic rivalries A. Grain tariffs in Germany and France B. Economic repercussions of World War One III Political rivalries A. French Democracy vs German autocracy B. Platos political theories IV Military rivalries A. The â€Å"naval race† between Great Britain and Germany B. Triple Entente vs. Triple Alliance V Pre-War European Art A. Impressionism B. Expressionism VI Conclusion war was inevitable Exercise name: 4a Re-examining at the sentence level Exercise type Input Copyright info NA Instruction NA The overall structure of your paper is very important. So, too, is the organization at the sentence level. As you become an experienced writer, the more you will develop your own prose style, your own distinctive patterns of sentence length and structure. While you are developing your style, remember that there are two bad habits to watch out for: Too many simple subject-verb-object sentences in a row Though a few such sentences can be useful to punctuate longer ones, long strings of them tend to sound unintelligent. If you spot a long sequence of simple, short sentences, try to link sentences together by relating their ideas to one another. Spaghetti sentences At the opposite extreme, some writers write overly long and complex sentences in the belief that this is a convention of academic writing. A few very long sentences can be effective in an argument. However, if most of your prose is made up of very long sentences even if they are carefully structured your argument will be weakened. Exercise name: 4b Using the active voice over the passive voice Exercise type Input Copyright info NA Instruction NA Using the active voice over the passive voice Study the two sentences below. Which sentence do you find to be clearer? Passive: The survey was returned by the subjects by email. Active: The subjects returned to survey by email. Most readers would prefer the second sentence as sentences written in the active voice are generally easier to understand. This is because the actor and the action are clearer. This does not mean that one should avoid writing in the passive voice entirely. The passive important when putting an emphasis on the object in a sentence or in situations where the subject is not known. For example: The subjects were observed over an eight year period. The test dogs were given three large doses of the chemical. Exercise name: 4c Avoiding impersonal â€Å"it† Exercise type Input Copyright info NA Instruction NA Good writers avoid sentences with phrases that begin with â€Å"it†. Instead, they attempt to clarify the action and focus on actors and actions. Phrases like â€Å"It is suggested† or â€Å"It may be recalled†can often be deleted in favour of the known subject. For example: In the report it is suggested that good nutrition is the key to happiness BETTER: The report suggests that good nutrition is the key to happiness It may be recalled that this topic is discussed in Chapter 2 in greater detail. BETTER: Chapter 2 discusses this topic in greater detail. Stopped here need to replace an exercise Exercise name: 5 Sentence structure extremes Exercise type MC V1 Copyright info Instruction [] Paragraph contains too many short sentences. [] Paragraph two has too many spaghetti sentences. [C] The first sentence of paragraph 1 would be better as: â€Å"As a result of the Prime Ministers remarks, the audience, composed exclusively of diplomats, believe that this governments position would be similar to that of its predecessor † [C] The first sentence of paragraph 2 would be better as: A greenhouse is a building made out of glass where plants grows. [C] The last sentence of paragraph 1 would be better as: â€Å"The Prime Minister failed to understand the gravity of the situation. He acted as if this problem could simply be ignored.† [C] The last two sentence of paragraph 2 could be better if combined to â€Å"The retained radiation heats the earths atmosphere and keeps the planet warm.† Not a very challenging exercise, since all of the reformulated sentences are supposed to be better. Rollover Text 1 Impressions formed from the remarks of the Prime Minister, difficult enough as they were to understand, only confirmed the audience, which was composed exclusively of members of the diplomatic corps, in its belief that the government, which had only been in office for a short while, would not take a stance differing from that of the previous administration, which most of the diplomats found depressing, although they had not liked the previous government. The Prime Minster, however, failing to grasp the gravity of the situation, acted as if this problem, which will certainly accompany his administration for the duration of its term, could simply be ignored. Rollover Text 2 A greenhouse is a building where plants grow. A greenhouse has transparent glass. The glass allows the sunlight to enter, but does not allow the heat inside to escape. The same effect occurs on the earth. The earths atmosphere functions like the glass. The suns radiation passes through the atmosphere to heat the earths surface. The earths surface then produces infrared radiation. This radiation has a longer wavelength than that of sunlight. This radiation rises into the atmosphere where gases such as carbon dioxide, prevent the infrared radiation from escaping into space. These gases are called greenhouse gases. They control how much infrared radiation escapes the atmosphere. The retained radiation heats the earths atmosphere. This radiation keeps the planet warm. Exercise name: 6 Passive and active sentences Exercise type Drag to Category Correct answers in bold. Copyright info NA Instruction Drag the sentences where it would be appropriate to rewrite in an active form to the appropriate box (passive voice, active voice) [The water was poured into the test tube.] [Nuclear power plants are opposed by many voters.] [Reductions of up to 80% in heat and mass transfer coefficients were measured.] [In my department the advice on clear English has been disregarded.] [In the 19th century a fundamental belief in God was taken for granted by most people.] [A reduction in nuclear weapons was proposed by a number of states.] [Each subject was given three injections] [The rats were fed a protein-free diet for 21 days.] [Appropriate use of passive voice] [Sentence should be reformulated in the active voice] Exercise name: 7 Removing impersonal â€Å"it† and â€Å"there† Exercise type Copyright info Instruction In the text written by Giddens it is said that peer pressure among teenagers can lead to violence. [According to Giddens peer pressure among teenagers can lead to violence. This does not mean that it should be prohibited to write about or to show pictures of the celebrities in the mass media. [Writing about or showing pictures of celebrities in the mass media should not necessarily be prohibited.] It is guaranteed that there is freedom of expression in Germany. [Freedom] [of] [expression [ [is] [guaranteed] in [Germany] It certainly seems that Shakespeare intended to suggest that Macbeth was weaker than his wife. [S. certainly suggested that Macbeth was weaker than his wife.] Are we allowed to design connect it exercises where you have almost twice as many options on the right-hand side than on the left? All the other exercise types dont really work with these sentences. My first association was a missing words or text checker exericse, but that wouldnt work here. What did Jeffrey originally want the learner to do here? Exercise name: 8 Find the actor and agent Exercise type Text MC (Là ¼ckentext mit DropDown) Correct answer always bold. Copyright info NA Instruction Find the actor and action for each sentence below. Actor Action In several books it is described how Mahler screamed at the musicians in his orchestra. [books, Mahler, musicians] [describe, scream, play music] It will be beneficial for the Physics Department to expand its internet facilities as more and more communication is web-based. [Physics Department, internet, web-based] [benefit, expand, communicate] It is hoped by both parties that further delays can be avoided. [It, both parties, delay] [hope, delay, avoid] It has been decided by the government of Great Britain that it should make an approach to the World Bank with a view to the possible granting of a loan. [Great Britain, government of Great Britain, World Bank] [decide, approach, grant] It is now incumbent on the United Nations to focus its attention on tasks of the highest priority in order to achieve success within the parameters of its goal expectations. [The United Nations, tasks, goals] [focus, achieve, expect] A recommendation was made by the European Parliament that consideration be given by the Member States to a simplification of the award procedure. [recommendation, European Parliament, Member States) [recommend, consider, simplify] The foregoing table is intended to assist readers in understanding the costs and expenses that the university will bear directly or indirectly. [Table, readers, costs] [intend, assist, understand] Exercise name: 9 Reformulate the sentences Exercise type Unscramble sentences Copyright info NA Instruction Unscramble the improved version of sentences from the previous exercise [Several books] [describe] [how] [Mahler] [screamed] [at] [the] [musicians] [in] [his] [orchestra]. [The United Nations] [must] [now] [turn] [to top-priority] tasks] [in order to] [reach] [its] goals]. [This table] [describes] [the] universitys] [costs] [and] [expenses]. [The European Parliament] [recommended] [that] [the member states] [consider] [simplifying] [the award procedure]. [The Physics Department] [should] [expand] [its] [internet facilities] [to meet] [the growing need]. [Both parties] [hope] [to avoid] [further] [delays]. [Great Britains] [government] [has] [decided] [to ask] [the World Bank] [for] [a loan]. Exercise name: 10a Selecting the right words Exercise type Input Copyright info NA Instruction NA In 1944, George Orwell came up with a number of rules for writing well. One of these rules is: â€Å"Never use a long word where a short one will do. If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.† For example: The Ministry of State has reached the conclusion that it should make an application to the Federal government with a view to the possible granting of a loan Could be cut down to: The Ministry of State has concluded that it should ask the Federal government for a loan. and The experiment had to be postponed because of the unfavourable climatic conditions. Could be rewritten as: The experiment was postponed because of the bad weather. Citation: George Orwell, â€Å"Politics and the English Language† Exercise name: 10b Exercise type Input Copyright info NA Instruction NA Finding the right word is one of the most important tasks of good writing. Use words accurately, with precision, and avoid gobbledygook and jargon. When revising, look for phrases and words that dont stand up to scrutiny. Generally speaking, it is a good rule to use the more common and simpler word if no loss in meaning is involved. For example: Stratford is the locality where Shakespeare was born. Better: Stratford is the place where Shakespeare was born. Below is a list from the â€Å"Plain English† website of simpler, more common words which may be used in place of words which may at first sound more â€Å"academic† ascertain find out axiomatic obvious endeavour try expedite hasten, speed up facilitate make easier, help formulate work out, devise, form for the reason that because locality place optimum best, greatest, most strategize plan www.plainenglish.co.uk (The â€Å"Plain English† campaign was begun by a British civil servant inspired by Orwell.) Exercise name: 10c Commas Exercise type Input Copyright info NA Instruction NA After you have done the work of reorganizing your structure and of editing your style, you need to proofread. It is very important for that first impression that you make no mistakes in spelling or punctuation. Some of the most common mistakes that can be quickly caught are commas after introductory elements and semi-colons between two complete sentences. Remember the rules: A comma is generally used after an introductory element, especially if this element is long or if the speaker would normally pause at this point in speech. Remembering what Berlin was like in spring, she looked forward to returning. When mentioning a word for the first, a comma is placed in front of any abbreviations, acronyms of that word. [Give an example, e.g. with GNP] However, a comma is misplaced if it comes between the verb and its object. This mistake is especially common before â€Å"that† Incorrect: I doubt, that she understands how to use commas correctly. Correct: I doubt that she understands how to use commas correctly. Exercise name: 11 Exercise type Text checker Copyright info NA Instruction It is axiomatic (obvious) that English has become the worlds most spoken language in science, politics and commerce. It was difficult to ascertain (find out) from the corpora whether the women use more deictic expressions than men. Berlin is the capital of Germany for the reason that (because) it was once the capital of Prussia. The optimum (best) advertising strategy is often only discovered after extensive market research. Subjects who utilize (use) †¦ the library correctly will help facilitate (speed up) your work. Adding this chemical will expedite (speed up) the reaction. Exercise name: 12 Comm

My Favourite Character – “To Kill a Mocking Bird”

This Essay is about my favourite character in â€Å"To Kill a Mocking Bird. † She is one of the biggest, most important characters; she is considered the main character. She is very important for she helps narrate this story. She helps with the story by describing her thoughts and feelings that is one of the main reasons why I like her. She also helps to develop the plot, themes, and helps to emphasize some of the symbolism. Her name is Jean-Louis, but we all know her as Scout. Scout is a daughter, a sister and a friend.She is a huge tomboy; and she likes to prove it to every one. She prefers to hang out boys rather than girls, and so she does, she spends most of her time with her brother Jem, and in the summers, her cousin; Dill. In the beginning of the book Scout is only a young age of 9, throughout the novel she gets older just like the rest of the characters, and also matures along with her older brother Jem. Although Scout isn’t going through the same stages as Jem she matures just as much.Jem’s turning into a teenager, while Scout is getting older, and is discovering how the world works. The era of this book is set back to around the years 1861 to 1865; this was when the civil war was happening, along with the discrimination of African Americans. Racism is a huge theme in â€Å"To Kill a Mocking Bird. † Scout doesn’t really under stand that racism isn’t good, but it’s not her fault, because she has lived with it and doesn’t know any different.In that time â€Å"blacks† were known as lesser human beings. The â€Å"whites† were known to be greater than any other race; Scout didn’t know that this was wrong, so she went with it. During the trail, one of the biggest parts of this novel, Scout discovers a little bit about racism. The trial is about how an African American is being accused for the rape of a Caucasian woman, during the trial a lot of discrimination happens to the defenda nt, this is when Scout discovers racism.

Compare how death is presented in three poems in the Anthology Essay

The three poems Remember by Christina Rossetti, Plena Timoris by Thomas Hardy and Refugee Mother and Child by Chinua Achebe all portray death in different ways. Rossetti explores the acceptance of death, whereas, in Refugee Mother and Child we see the unwavering love the mother has for the child. In the poem Plena Timoris the persona recalls how love can be so extreme that could lead to despair and death. What I found intriguing about these poems was how love could be both a dangerous and positive force towards the subject of death. Love could drive a person to their grave but also love could be the will for a person to stay strong and never giving up. Christina Rossetti a devote Anglican to whom church and family were paramount. It is known that two marriage proposals which did not live up to her religious fervour therefore she turned them down. Because of her religion Rossetti appears to have been obsessed with her own pending death in this poem. Her belief was that death was the ultimate goal for everyone, and because of such she very much planned her own pending death. The structure of this poem was in a Pertrachan Italian sonnet form. In this form poems are meant to be very structured and are need of following a strict rhyme scheme. However there was a change in rhyme scheme between the octet and sestet. In the octet the phrase â€Å"Remember me† was mentioned three times, but a sudden change was then noticed, as in the sestet â€Å"Forget me† was repeated twice. This change is used to suggest the possibility of forgetting and being happy rather having instructions to remember. This could show even before her death she was still doubtful between secular love and materialistic love. Chinua Achebe is a proud Nigerian who observed the civil war in his country and horrific suffering of the innocent refugees. In Refugee Mother and Child he relates the sadness of death between a child and a mother by writing in free verse. The line length of the whole entire poem was three lines. In the first stanza there is only one sentence, and in the last stanza two sentences were present. These long sentence increases the intensity on the images and also the enjambment suggests the suffering of these innocent refugees. Plena Timoris is set within the conservative morality of Victorian England where women had a subordinate and dependent position in a male patriarchal world. Hardy uses different tones throughout the poem to evoke how he thinks about love. He sees love in a very cynical view and is making an effort in portraying love is not everlasting but tragic and indecisive. In the first stanza the use of alliteration in â€Å"the lovers looked over† emphasizes love was lyrical and a harmony of life by the â€Å"l† sound produced. But in the second stanza onwards there was a sudden transition and the change of tone was turned emotionless and insensitive. From the phrase, â€Å"There’s a woman in the canal below† there is a sense of bluntness and matter of fact to it. This sudden contrast of tones between the stanzas just enforces how Hardy thinks about love. The rhyme scheme of this poem does not change, the structure is: â€Å"abbab, cddcd†. It is in a strict and orderly fashioned. This rhyme scheme reflects how Hardy feels abut love and death. That love would have happy times but at the end it will just lead to despair. Also by having such a strict rhyme scheme it also suggest how Hardy views women opinion in love. As this structure is so old fashioned it provides a kind of security and how the future is being set. This may be very well how women in the male patriarchal world viewed love therefore he viewed love in such a cynical way. In the poem Remember, Rossetti portrays death as an eternal and a beautiful thing, instead of fearing death like the other two poems. The persona appears to have been planning and waiting for her own pending death. Rossetti uses strong imagery to reveal about how she feels about death. The opening two lines of this sonnet â€Å"Remember me when I am gone away, Gone far away into the silent land† gives an idea of how she hints that she is dying. The phrase â€Å"silent land† could be translated as a cemetery or individual grave. It can also be seen as a metaphor as the phrase also suggests calm after life. All these techniques used by Rossetti could be seen that she is using euphemism to make death sound less harsh, and instead it is a goal that should be achieved by everyone. Whereas in the poem Refugee Mother and Child, Achebe reflects the sadness of death by creating a tragic atmosphere. This poem does so by introducing shocking images and strong words. In this poem it is full of pathos; it is a very emotional poem. The alliteration used in: â€Å"struggling in labored steps behind blown empty bellies† evokes a sense of harshness, as the â€Å"b† sound which is constantly repeated makes a very plosive sound. The juxtaposition used in â€Å"the rust – colored hair left on his skull† emphasizes how horrific death is towards the child. Not only is this phrase very descriptive but it also seems to describe the layers of death. It is very photo journalistic which makes the atmosphere very tragic and grave. In Plena Timoris death is conveyed in the strong imagery created by Hardy. The negative imagery in â€Å"And her arm dropt† symbolizes how because the woman in the poem sees love could lead to death it is in fear of it, therefore there is a loss of affection towards the man. The alliteration in â€Å"dim dreads† and â€Å"slowly sees† portrays a sense of insecurity coming from the woman. As she slowly sees how extreme love could lead the despair and death. Lastly, the phrase â€Å"till an arm upbore† in stanza two is a horrifying image. The word upbore gives a sense of death and the whole phrase conveys a sense of fear towards the subject death as it is being described as horror and terror. In Remember the poem creates a huge impact on readers. It is a poem which is very memorable. This is because Rossetti describes death in a very different way than most poets therefore standing out from the other poems. The repetition in this poem emphasizes the point of her point of view and the confusion between her religion and materialistic love. The phrases â€Å"Remember me† and â€Å"Forget me† was repeated a number of times and because of such it plays a great role in the poem. As it gives an impression on how Rossetti is judging between her church and her religious fervor. The strong descriptive imagery in the poem Refugee Mother and Child and the choices of word Achebe chooses makes this poem have a very strong impact on the reader. The beginning of the poem where allusion is used in: â€Å"No Madonna and Child could touch† by referring to a famous painting of Jesus and Mother Mary, emphasizes the point of love between the bonds of the mother and child very strongly. Also the strong imagery in â€Å"her eyes the ghost of a mother’s pride† gives an impression of how the mother is hanging onto the child’s life and as the child dies something inside the mother is dying too. These strong images are used often in Achebe’s poem, and because of such his poem have a strong impact on readers and this poem is very memorable. In Hardy’s poem it was very effective as the negative poetic techniques he uses describes about love in a very vivid and strong, also Plena Timoris gives an impact to readers because it shows very clearly the differences between love and death. The juxtaposition in† till hopeless despair began† gives a contrast between hope. By this phrase love is being described very negatively, and because of this the poem is very vivid in the readers mind. Also in the phrase â€Å"the girl’s heart shuddered; it seemed as to free her†. The semi colon used in this phrase is an intended pause to emphasize the sense of the women’s heart actually shuddering. Plena Timoris creates a strong impact on readers as the descriptive words he chooses allows the reader to imagine clearly what is happening. Personally I liked Refugee Mother and Child the most because Achebe boldly states that the human spirit and dignity of the Nigerian mother and the love she has for the child is greater than anything comparable in the Christian world. Though Hardy’s and Rossetti’s poem was not unforgettable pieces of work, I think Achebe’s is the better one because his comparisons stood out more than the ones Hardy had. Also the imagery he had and alliteration was stronger than Rossetti’s. By reading Achebe’s poem I felt and sympathized for the mother and child, and I thought the poets point was put forward very clearly on love and how strong it can be.

Its The Furthest Thing From Extreme - 1148 Words

â€Å"That all sounds a little extreme.† â€Å"It’s the furthest thing from extreme. You may have carved out a sweet little community for yourself, but you are an island in a sea of misery - the tide is rising quickly. It’s only a matter of time before you and your estate are consumed by famine, pestilence, and death. We have a small window; I’m thinking maybe three to five years to try and put the genie back in the bottle.† â€Å"How?† â€Å"We have men and women in place in state capitols across the region who are working to reconstitute local and state governments. Many of these people are the same men and women who you worked with during the movement. If we can get some structures re-established, the goal is to hold a second round of constitutional conventions and repeal all the Liberty Amendments and the Supremacy Amendment at the state level. Once the Liberty Amendments and Supremacy Amendment are gone, we can begin making and enforci ng laws once again. As soon as we can enforce law, we can begin to rebuild society based on those laws.† â€Å"So, let me see if I’ve got this straight,† William said. â€Å"You took your grandson and fled Rosewood, leaving Edward Birch in the dust, and now you’re bent on starting a counter-movement, and you want me to help you foment this revolution.† â€Å"That’s exactly right.† â€Å"You’re doing this because you believe that Edward Birch is some demon, perhaps even the anti-Christ himself, whose goal all along has been to unleash an apocalypse on America. You believeShow MoreRelatedAnalysis1035 Words   |  5 PagesHistorians may not be able to prove anything since it’s observing what was left behind, but to Delgado, it’s more credible that telling what the Japanese told at the time that was exaggerated by not only just the writers but also with religious meanings. Khan was headed for Japan to conquer, so to fully understand Khan’s fleet’s, he explained why Khan wanted to control Japan. 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